Why You Should be Unreasonable
What do people really mean when they say, "Be reasonable!"?
"Don't do anything that will get you noticed. Play nice. Keep quiet. Stay normal, unobtrusive, inoffensive, and as safe and risk-free as possible."
But unreasonable people, who just ask for what they want, who don't tamp themselves down to fit in and avoid making waves...we are jealous of them. Why is that?
Because they break all the rules. Because they act freely. Because they are fully expressed.
Not always. Sometimes, unreasonable just means annoying and hard to handle, but sometimes, it means going outside the social bounds that keep us in line, the velvet ropes telling us, every so gently, where we can walk and how we can be: tidy, quiet, obedient.
The way life works, there are always reasons to back down.
- It's snowing.
- Someone will be offended.
- It's probably not allowed.
- You didn't get enough sleep last night (which is a reason to be grouchy and unproductive)
But if you want to live a particular kind of awesome, that's the only reason you can count on: your choice. Since it's based on pure capricious whimsy, we call it unreasonable.
- Unreasonable is sprinting down the street because your projects are that important.
- Unreasonable is calling up your friends at 1am because you found something they need to get involved with right away.
- Unreasonable is yelling at the top of your lungs across a crowded room, stalling a party, because you just met the girl of your dreams and she's about to walk out before you could get her number.
- Unreasonable isn't always big and loud. It can be quiet as loving someone no matter what, at their best and their worst, even when they let you down.
- Unreasonable can be as simple as running every morning at 5am, rain, snow, or sun.
- Sometimes, unreasonable is nothing more than meditating for 30 minutes every day at exactly 6:30 in the morning, before anything else happens, even if you didn't get to bed until 1 in the morning.
Sure you could give a reason for your choice, but then someone could come along and disprove that reason, or your reason might disappear on its own, or you might just be lying to yourself.
The conversation goes something like this:
"Honey, I love you."
"Because you're pretty, and smart."
"I better stay smart and pretty then. What happens when I get old and wrinkly?"
"Well, I'll still love you."
"Either you're lying or your reason isn't that I'm pretty. So what is it?"
Can you see where this is going? Ultimately, if you want to do something grand and epic (like loving someone authentically) you have to stop being reasonable and become a Force to be Reckoned With, someone who doesn't actually need reasons.
Unreasonable is simply the decision that you are the one who determines what you do, not social convention, pressures, expectations, peer pressure, politeness, or normalcy, and most definitely not random circumstance.
So, I correct what I said before: Unreasonable is always annoying and hard to handle, except to the people who see it's real value.
Those people will see you being unreasonable and they will want to come along for the ride.
How can you be more unreasonable in life?