Trying to Keep it All Together

The first response has been to actually try to get everything under control. This usually involves meticulous planning and lots of running around doing errands, as well as very careful and stringent management of my sleep habits. Because I am a fairly disciplined person, I usually manage to pull this off for a while.

The second option I have used in the past is to simply accept things as they are. Instead of trying to get more done, I actually try to do less. I simply accept that not everything that needs to get done will get done, and try to be okay with that. I do what I can, sleep as best I can, and simply go with the flow.

In the long term, the first option actually leads to greater stress in my experience. For it to work, everything has to operate on a very tight schedule, and that is simply not sustainable. Eventually, something needs to be moved around or re-arranged. I usually get injured and have to make doctor's appointments, and then everything falls apart.

The second option actually lets me get more out of life in the long run. My errands always seem to fill whatever time is allotted to them, so if I simply take a step back, things settle down. I end up doing less, but doing it better and giving more quality attention to the things that I am doing.

You can probably tell by the belated blog entries that I'm in a rather hectic moment these days. I've responded by trying to handle everything, instead of trying to handle less, and the result has been me trying to keep too many balls in the air at once. For a while, I felt pretty awesome, balancing so much at the same time, like I was superman, but things have recently come tumbling down. My sleep has fallen off, my diet got a little carried away, exercise went overboard to the point of burnout, and there are just too many errands to do and not nearly enough time to do them in.

I've been trying to get stuff done, and often when everything is getting done, it is at that moment I realize that I am more unbalanced than I realized. Sometimes, the illusion of control actually contributes to even greater imbalance. That was where I realized I was this past weekend.

Really, all I can do is go slowly and methodically with my errands and self-care. When I try to rush or get too much done, inevitably things fall apart. I cut myself shaving, I neglect to warm up exercising and hurt myself, I am late to my appointments. Instead, doing less and giving myself more time, but not holding myself to a strict schedule, allows me to actually get things lined up correctly. Taking the time to tidy my room in the morning does more for my sense of peace than getting 10 things done before I leave the house.

And then of course I've discovered that sometimes, you just have to let the unimportant things slide. My martial arts is really starting to take off, and I'm going to dive right in. This might mean that other things might lose time, but I gotta do what makes me happy.

I'll try to post more regularly. Bear with me.

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