Tired of Tardiness

It is really hard to admit that I have a problem with being on time to things. I try to get a lot done, but that sometimes means that I need to take the extra effort to prepare for things, rather than wait until the last minute and wing it. A friend pointed out that I need to adopt certain routines to plan and prepare for my day ahead of time, and anticipate my inability to do things, instead of assuming I'll be more productive, have more time, and be more focused than I usually turn out to be.

I'm not sure whether this is a valid comparison, but I suppose a smoker admitting their addiction might feel somewhat similar, especially after seeing how their habit has caused pain to others. In the last two days, I watched myself as a totally unreliable, irresponsible person demonstrating an apparent lack of respect for others' time. That's not who I want to be, and even though my thoughts and intents were not in line with those actions, I believe we are defined by our actions.

The problem is, my problem isn't very consistent. When I'm on, I'm really on. But I slip very easily into procrastination and disorganization that leads to tardiness and other problems. When I'm tired, it's so easy to just go to bed without prepping my meals for the next day, but that leads to me rushing in the morning and being late, which just compounds with things as the day goes on.

Anyway, I'm admitting my issue for what it is: a serious problem/bad habit/minor addiction that I really need to work on to change. I guess it isn't as serious as some other bad habits, but it's still very frustrating and discouraging. I'd hate to lose out on opportunities because I was a few minutes late (oh wait...missing a bus by 5 minutes last summer cost me $80, and missing my plane by 5 minutes led to me spending the entire day in the airport. So, yeah, I need to work on that).

Instead of simply brushing this off as 'something to work on' I've decided to tackle it head on. This is my New Year's Resolution: to break my habit of disorganization and being late to things.

- (**