How Listening Makes You Powerful


Hey! Listen! - Navi, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time

Do you ever find yourself doing this when you are listening to someone?

The inner dialogue boils down to:

Most conversations have a whole peanut gallery's worth of commentary going in the the heads of the "listeners!"

If we hear something that isn't in the container we call "me" we may feel a need to deny its existence. I did this a lot. I thought I had to so people would see me as important.

Then, I realized something that changed everything about how I interacted with people.

In fact, it changed almost everything about how I deal with people in general. This one little realization helped me connect on a deeper level, to feel compassion for others, and to be more open to exploring new relationships and the experiences they offer.

I learned that everyone was just as desperate to express themselves as I was. They just wanted to be heard.

When they're not heard, they respond by either closing up or by talking more in a desperate attempt to get their point across.

Clearly, this isn't a recipe for fulfilling and engaging connections.

So, I decided to try listening really hard, to give them exactly what they wanted and see what they would offer as a result.

Here's what I do:

You don't have to run through that checklist...simply allow yourself to get absorbed in what the other person is sharing (channel you on your first date with your dream person. You'd pay attention).

The results if this approach have been shocking:

Give it a try. See if you can rise to the (significant) challenge of letting go of the need to be right or provide advice.

Instead, be a great opportunity for the other person to express themselves to another human being.

- (***

PS: Kokiri companion faeries are no exception. Just hit UP C and hear her out.